When you're barely past the first date with someone new, everything from where they grew up to their favorite sex position is a fascinating mystery to unravel about the other person. Once a couple has been together for years, though, they often think of their partner as less of a mystery, and more like a book that's been read so many times, there are no surprises left. Asking each other dirty questions can be a hot way to get to know what a new partner likes, plus how to turn them on, and for longtime couples, a great game to spice things up. Citing what marriage-focused therapist Esther Perel says in her book Mating in Captivity , Ligon says that " it's all about meeting your partner over and over again, and falling in love with them again. And with yourself, as well.